


Bathroom Emergency

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Series: Reviled Hearts [39]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor, kind of gross, pooping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8624029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: John Dawlish urgently needs to find a toilet...





	

~ Bathroom Emergency ~

Now that Dumbledore had disappeared, there was nothing more for the Aurors to do except leave the school and report back to the Ministry... but first, John Dawlish needed to run to the bathroom.

 _Getting older is really no fun_ , the aging wizard reflected as he searched desperately for a bathroom. The wriggling in his guts reinforced this thought. _There has to be one around here somewhere!_

It had been a long time since his school years and he was having a hard time remembering where anything was. He rushed through a confusion of corridors and moving staircases until he was well and truly lost somewhere deep in the castle. And there, finally he found what he'd been looking for, and although it was a ladies' room rather than a men's room, the ruckus in his colon had reached the point of sit-yourself-or-shit-yourself and he simply had no more time to search for the properly assigned facility.

He shed his robes and de-pantsed himself, hanging his clothes over the stall door in preparation for a vigorous bout of what his younger colleagues termed _firehose asshole_.

No sooner had his ultimate blowout begun than Dawlish heard a ghostly whisper of "boo".

Either fortunately or unfortunately (he wasn't sure quite which he would call it), his mind was too occupied with the involuntary actions of his digestive system at the moment to properly process what normally would have been quite startling.

The ghost - who apparently did not like to be ignored - continued to wail, and when Dawlish gave no outward reaction, a spectral figure floated right into the stall with him.

"Poo," the ghost girl intoned, snickering. "Pooooooooooooo."

Dawlish did not have the breath to waste on telling the dead girl to leave him alone, so he could only hope that she would get bored before his bowels were fully evacuated.

~ end ~


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